beccaelizabeth (beccaelizabeth) wrote,

I did a meditating at the meditate place.
Their cushions are dark magic and it is much more comfortable to sit on the floor.
But I maybe possibly sat more still today?
It is tricky.
We did the loving kindness meditation where you think nice thoughts to get in the habit
and there's a bit where you think nice thoughts at a person you like
only that would have been easier if he hadn't specifically said 'not someone you're sexually attracted to', because then it's purple goats
and when he said 'think about the person you like, coming towards you, happy to see you'
my mental images are very well trained.

... but I can feel many happy kind thoughts about wentworth miller smiling also, so i feel that almost works...

And then we're supposed to remember a happy and get that feeling of happy towards all other people
only the last time I was happy at plural humans in that full up and sharing kind of way
was when the DJ put on Highway to Hell
so then I got that stuck in my head
in the shrine room.


I do feel a higher level of happy wellbeing type thoughts than when I started though, so it remains useful.

kind of.
I maybe am more incline to feel smug and self important about knowing things, rather than settle down and feel meditative.
it's a bit annoying.

but I shall go at least one more time and hope I get better at it.

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Tags: religion
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