beccaelizabeth (beccaelizabeth) wrote,


So... this year in review...

I think we all know the reasons in the headlines that this year has put many in a bad place. All the losses, all the grief. Political moves that will have consequences.

So it feels weird thqt for me, personally, just looking at the day to day stuff, quite a lot started going right.

I mean I'm still stuck in this flat, and I still lack much of a plan, and that's a problem.

But I finally got support again. I have an employee, and they work for a company so they can do holiday cover and sometimes shuffle things around even at the last minute. So after three years I can finally leave the house on the regular again.

This is a really big improvement. I mean getting to go to the supermarket every week may not sound impressive, but it very much is when you've spent three years emerging maybe once a month.

This time last year my review of the year trailed off in a general sentiment of FML.

This year there weren't singular high point achievements to point to, even when I scheduled some and didn't quite manage, but the slow and steady progress adds up.

I got rid of so much junk, I got my house ready for new things. I bought new furniture and have replaced everything that was just plain broken. I'm now down to a few things that could do better, bookshelves that bend a bit much or the desk which was not impressive when put together a quarter century ago. I still haven't got rid of the piano. But I have attempted to repair it and found it unrepairs itself quickly and the repair dude stopped answering, so, I should at some point be able to let it go.

... I won't hold my breath, but, I should let it go.

I replaced the vacuum cleaner and the washer dryer, hopefully with more reliable ones. I bought new plates and cutlery, and towels and shiny bathroom whatsits. Everything is gems on now.

I chose a nice light oak for furniture. I have a new bed, new storage, new bedside cabinet, lovely lamp, bookshelves that are rearranged and actually alphabetised in order up to Huff, and in general a unified decorating theme made of functional pieces. I got rid of broken recliners and replaced them with a... not awesome but basically working one. I have a dining table and new chairs and they worked to host Christmas here. And there's sufficient storage for my DVDs and CDs.

There's still a bit further to go, but that's a whole lot of progress.

I had to give up on my ambition to replace carpet that's old enough to vote, because I seem to be allergic to the carpet shop. But I have some nice little rugs with stars on, so that's an improvement.

I have been reading and weeding my book collection, especially the inherited ones. It has taken me nearly twenty years to be able to let some of these go, or to just be sure enough of my standards that I can look at 'classics' and decide I don't need to read any more by that author, much less keep them. But I have been doing so, steadily, and I'm sure I have reclaimed multiple feet of book space by now.

Also I got my books actually catalogued, to the last box. ... I'm still finding gaps in both directions, inventory absent and catalog not quite right, but I have been through every box and shelf and tried, which is a first.

If I actually get them all shelved too it'll be a first in three generations.

I more or less swapped fandoms again this year. Captain America Civil War happened and for me the MCU went kind of blah. They don't fix what they break, and they have a different idea of what the problems even are than I do. I might get drawn back in later - I actually hope I am - but right now even the fic stacks up unread.

I did discover Legends Of Tomorrow, and Captain Cold, and Heatwave, and the Flash, and best shiniest Supergirl. So I've dived in to a new fandom without leaving superheroes. So far it is fun, but I gave up on Arrow because of their tendency to always wreck the good bits, so I'm kind of crossing my fingers for the rest.

Doctor Who has left me unenthused of late, which is so bizarre I don't quite know what to do with it. But the spinoffs have remained fun.

The Librarians is super fun, and I keep finding more things I actually like, so that feels better.

I haven't written any fic. Or proper essays, my degree continues to go unused as I write small grumbly meta same as usual. I haven't been to conventions either. It leaves me feeling sort of unplugged.

As per usual my new year resolution is to actually write something.

I am vaguely hopeful, about that and many other things.

Things that did work out better this year : new employee means new shoes, new clothes, and new regular activities. I've been actually going to science fiction group! I get to go dancing every dingle week now! I... still need to find more and more interesting to do with my life and make better social connections, but, I have sufficient support to try it.


It don't take long to type up because doing the same thing every week is simple to write, but since it was previously impossible to do, I'm much improved for it.

And I feel optimistic I'll get better at doing things without assistant too, now I've got the underpinnings sorted, so to speak. I went to Pride alone again, and that worked plenty. I like rainbows day.

Support also makes an ongoing difference to how I get along with mum, because instead of always having something needs done and some help to ask her for, I have help, and can just talk with mum. Is better.

Also the Sunday routine of shopping and then a movie with brother works pretty well when it happens at all. It seems to have paused for winter for a variety of reasons. But that will be nice when it starts again.

I remain aware of how precarious everything is and how politics will probably impact many lives. That bit leads to hiding under blankets a lot.

But in this very small corner, I am warm, I have new things for my home that is steadily getting nicer, I get to go Outside and buy food and drinks and everything else at least once a week, and these things are a great improvement. I even have a regular social life again, albeit one where sometimes only one person turns up. So there's room for improvement, but with support back, I see room for optimism about improving.

I hope everyone has a steady progress getting better sort of year.

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