beccaelizabeth (beccaelizabeth) wrote,

Ate a food, watched a TV

1990 Flash episode Child's Play is kind of epic terrible.
And features a very young Jonathan Brandis, which I was not emotionally prepared for. I mean I know old TV has dead people in it, but that was a whole set of sad I was not expecting today.
So it's a very incongruous set of feels.

The episode had evil hippies. Evil hippies with hallucinogens. Evil hippies with highly addictive hallucinogens they were going to spray the whole city with, so they'd all be instantly addicted and have to pay for more drugs or die.

TV is really, really bad at drug addiction, but even so, that was awful.

Brandis played a thirteen year old runaway who was living in an abandoned zoo with his tiny sister. I mean, if the basic idea is 'running away - actually difficult and made of suck' then their playset of a den was super counterproductive. And they're clean and not even pretending not to be well fed, even though he is really bad at crime and literally everyone he steals from sees him do it. And then when Barry catches him breaking into his car this does not lead to criminal charges but instead going to live with a nice lady veterinarian forever. There's basically no part of this story that doesn't look like adventure playground time.

The lady's husband just got blown up by drug dealers and she says the kids are great therapy but literally no one questions if this is the right home for these kids. Like, sure, tell the adorable sprogs you're going to adopt them, grief has never led to poor decisions ever.

Social services also don't seem to mind who these kids go home with. Or that Barry left the youngest alone in the house while he went out superheroing. Because that's not a problem.

Also the use of superpowers and how Barry ended up in danger made absolutely no sense, since it repeatedly relied on the Flash being unable to react to things that were pretty slow moves by normal humans, and also being injured by sudden changes in velocity, and staying injured until plot convenient. And then he just randomly phased through a wall for no readily apparent reason in a move that had no impact on the plot?

And then he beat the evil hippies with rock music.

No, really.


This is a level of terrible I had not anticipated.

And yet, because actor, feels.

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Tags: television, the flash
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