beccaelizabeth (beccaelizabeth) wrote,
beccaelizabeth
beccaelizabeth

Today I woke up at nine, read the internet, couldn't think of anything to do, went back to sleep, and had nightmares all day. Stupid stuff like lifts failing and falling to pieces, or double decker buses trying to get through single decker tunnels. Like my usual weird plot stuff was happening around the edges, but instead of useful stuff, the lift turns into a pit trap and the bus go crunch.

So now I'm more tired and really really cranky.

Also I find myself resenting other people's word counts without actually sitting down and writing anything myself. Which is an utterly pointless waste of emotion. I should just write.

Except everything in my brain is fuzziness and transport fail, so, that's not going to be terribly interesting.

Also a sort of giant guilt because in one dream I went to express an interest in re-enactment and it turned into a real war with real killing people and then I just felt awful. Which, you know, also a waste of emotion. Ugh.

But Ender's Game the middle age enthusiast edition was really nasty.

So now I'm in the sort of mood I'd usually fix with stabby computer games but I'd feel awful guilty about it right now, so I'm stuck with stupid feels.

Being a human has some really weird features.

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Tags: dreams
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